10 Things You Can Learn after Being Cheated on

cheated-on

Being cheated on sucks. There’s no way around that. It’s natural to feel depression, angry, frustrated and confused after infidelity. Before you fall into a cycle of self-loathing though, take a moment to evaluate your situation. Something bad happened to you, but you can turn that into something good moving forward. Here are 10 life lessons you can learn after being cheated on.

Infidelity Has Nothing to Do with How You Look

Cheating has nothing to do with how you look or how much money you make. Stop thinking “I wasn’t pretty enough” or “I wasn’t good enough.” That’s just not true. Your spouse cheated because he or she was not happy in the relationship. You may actually be significantly more attractive than the other person, but that doesn’t matter. Don’t blame your appearance for the incident because it is simply not a factor.

Someone Else’s Actions Do Not Define Your Self-Worth

Being cheated on does not make you a bad person. It should not cause you to question your self-worth. Your self-esteem may drop for a little while after the shock of the incident, but know that is only temporary. Someone else’s actions are theirs and theirs alone. You are a good person with a lot of positive traits. They can’t take that away from you.

You Did Not Cause Your Spouse to Cheat

Again, you are not to blame for the infidelity. You did not cause your partner to venture into another relationship. You did not create the temptation, and you did not succumb to it. This is an unfortunate circumstance, but it is not your fault.

…BUT You Could Have Worked on Your Relationship More

With the above statement in mind, it’s important to remember why people cheat in relationships. It almost always has something to do with the relationship itself. If a person does not feel validated, respected, or appreciated in a relationship, he or she may seek attention elsewhere. There was room for improvement in your relationship, whether you realized it or not. If you saw the signs and did nothing to fix them, you now know how important that is. If you did not see the problems in the relationship, you may need to adjust your perspective. You were not to blame for the infidelity, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make improvements for the future.

Continue to Part 2