Metro Detroit Marriage Counseling: Divorce Prevention Tips

divorce prevention tips

More than a quarter of Metro Detroit’s adults are currently married (25.6%). Whether you’ve been together for 5 years or 50 years, chances are you have had some hiccups along the way in your relationship. Stress from work, bills, family, and the like can put a strain on even the strongest of marriages, but that doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel for good. The divorce prevention tips below are designed to help you rebuild your marital bond so you can enjoy a happier quality of life.

Make A Mutual Commitment To Change

Before you can make any improvements in your marriage, you both have to be willing to make positive changes in your relationship. Sit down with your spouse and tell him or her that you want things to get better, and you’re willing to do what it takes to make that happen. Speak up with confidence about your future. “We can get through this. I believe in us.” If your spouse can see that you are truly committed to making changes, he or she will be more inclined to join you in this journey.

Let Go Of Old Grudges

If there are issues from the past that you are still upset about, you need to find a way to bring closure to the matter and move forward. One of the most common examples of this is in the case of infidelity. Choosing to stay married after infidelity is tough, but it is far from impossible. Our Metro Detroit marriage counselors work with couples every day to overcome difficult obstacles just like this. Deep-seeded emotions are difficult to get rid of, especially when they spawn from traumatic events. Nevertheless, it is those emotions that will hold you back from true progress. You must be willing to put them in the past for good.

Know What You Need To Change

Make a list of any complaints that your spouse has made about you in the past – negative comments that indicate your spouse isn’t happy with something. Ask your spouse to do the same. This is not mean that you are agreeing with the comments (though you should consider how valid they are). It’s more a matter of taking stock of the issues you need to work out as a team. Compare your lists in a neutral, unbiased manner, like you would if you were writing lists of items you needed to get at the store. Add anything that you or your spouse bring up during the discussion that you did not write down already.

You can use your lists during marriage counseling appointments or divorce prevention techniques you do on your own. Perhaps you could make a goal to tackle one item from each of your lists every week and make note of the progress that’s being made. Over time, your lists will get shorter and shorter, and your marriage will grow stronger along the way.

Take Care Of Your Appearance

Marriage is notorious for making people a little lazy when it comes to their appearance. Once you get comfortable with a person, it’s easy to “let yourself go.” This process has negative consequences. It lowers your self-esteem, and it tells your spouse that you don’t really care about his or her opinion. No, you shouldn’t HAVE to get dressed up for your spouse, but you should WANT to. Even something as simple as showering regularly and wearing a nice dress or pair of pants will do wonders for your relationship. You’d be surprised by how little it takes to re-ignite a spark in a troubled marriage.

PRO TIP: If you don’t have time to get dressed up, put on makeup, etc. throughout the day, set up a date night at least once a week. Make that a special day where you look your best and get away from the house for a little while.

Make Time For Your Marriage

Your marriage needs to take priority in your schedule, especially if you think you are on the verge of divorce. By now, you may look forward to time you spend away from your spouse. That distance will only drive you further apart. Dedicate time each day to talk to one another, even if you cannot do it in person. Talk about what happened during the day and make your spouse feel included in your life. This will do a lot to fix trust issues you may have after infidelity, lying, hiding money, etc. The more active you are in your spouse’s life and vice versa, the closer you will feel to one another.

Seek Professional Help Through Marriage Counseling

Working with a professional marriage counselor will give you an exact guideline to follow to improve your relationship and rebuild your bond. Here at Perspectives Of Troy Counseling Centers in Metro Detroit, we have a number of marriage counselors and therapists who would be more than happy to work with you. Avoid divorce and get your marriage back on the road to success. Call (248) 244-8644 to schedule an appointment with one of our experienced family and marriage counselors.