Covenant Lovers Part 3

Couple Talking About Sex

God’s Plan for a Celebration of Sex

Read Part 2

Most couples do not talk about sex. They talk about finances, careers, children and where they will spend their next vacation. They don’t talk about sex. Why? Sex is just plain hard to talk about. Our sexuality is a very private place. It rests in the core of our being. To talk about sex, even with our most trusted spouse, opens up a door to our vulnerability that we are simply not willing to do. But, we must. We must begin to talk about sex.

Learning to talk about sex with your spouse can be a challenge. This is not something that couples just decide to do one day and jump in. All too often when couples do take this leap, they find that they have just jumped off a cliff into a canyon of pain and sometimes death! It is no wonder that even the most determined couples retreat from this challenge! We must begin to talk about sex.

There are three areas that can give direction to the couple who has determined to open a dialogue on their sexual relationship. Any form of verbal exchange can present itself as a challenge within relationships, so it is wise to first gain some basic skills in the art of communication.

  • If a couple struggles with talking about their finances or parenting their children, then they will never conquer the arborous task of sharing their sexual fears or desires with one another!
  • The second area that any couple needs to consider is working on creating a comfortable sexual language. Language can be understood in two forms; verbal and non-verbal. Couples need to develop their own “code” in both areas if they are to be successful in mastering sexual communication with one another.
  • Finally, the third area that couples need to embrace if they are to arrive at a place where sexual communication is practiced is to practice! Couples need to practice talking about sex with each other “all the time”. Talk about sex before Talk about sex during sex. Talk about sex after sex. Eventually the couple will move to a place where they will be able to maximize their dialogue and enjoy the wonderful experience of “one-ness” at the 3-dimensional level that God designed for Covenant Lovers.

Does that sound easy? Far from it. Does it sound possible? Absolutely! Next week, I will spend time addressing a few areas that seem to trip up most couples as they attempt to begin their sexual dialogue. For now…just take the challenge…talk!

By Cristina Broomfield, MA, LLP