Covenant Lovers Part 2

Happy Married Couple In Woods

God’s Plan for a Celebration of Sex

Read Part 1 First

Recently there have been a surge of Christian articles, books, workshops, and even sermons that address the topic of sexual intimacy within the marital bond. This is a fairly new trend. As a marital therapist, I am excited to see that God’s people have finally removed the “taboo” and are approaching this sensitive subject. However, it is still an uphill battle and one where we need to persevere. God’s people need to become astute students on the topic of sex! Why? Because sex is sacred and deserves incredible honor. We cannot afford to speak of it in hushed tones anymore, rather, we need to walk in the full freedom of this wonderful gift that God has given His children!

With that said, a student of God’s Sexual Economy must first understand God and how He designed the union of marriage to reflect His image. If we miss this foundational truth, we will never fully understand or experience the “two shall become one flesh” mystery that the Apostle Paul talks about in Ephesians.

Last week we looked at the difference between covenants and contracts. I highlighted that God is a covenant making God and that marriage is a sacred covenant. We are called to be Covenant Lovers within the bounds of marriage. A Covenant Lover has a theology of sexuality based on biblical truth that emphasizes God-reflective intimacy, covenant monogamy and practical and accurate sexual information that promotes a healthy sexual relationship. Let’s begin by looking first at God-reflective intimacy.

Most couples are uncomfortable with the idea that God is interested in their sex life. In fact, more often, God is not invited into the bedroom, rather He is asked to stand in the hallway with the door to the couple’s sexual relationship closed tightly. However, God is not only interested in a couple’s sex life; He is the designer of their sex life!   Despite what culture has tried to steal and distort, sex was God’s idea. The sexual union of husband and wife reflects the entire Godhead. While our culture would promote a one dimensional sexual experience, God designed this union to reflect a 3 dimensional oneness. Our personhood has 3 dimensions as God has 3 dimensions. We are body (physical), mind (soul), and spirit (our core). Because God is triune, we reflect His image when we are able to connect at all three levels with our spouse. Drs. Rosenau and Neel say it best…”When we say ‘I do” we are making an everlasting promise to love one another before God. As Covenant Lovers, the seal or sign of this covenant is sexual lovemaking…this one-flesh relationship not only includes physical intimacy, but also a whole spectrum of healthy relational characteristics that enables a 3-dimensional sexual relationship” (Covenant Lovers p. 11). Covenant Lovers, as they grow in their understanding of what God has designed for their sexual relationship, will truly walk in the mystery of “one-flesh.” From this foundational understanding springs the practical applications that build a healthy intimate marriage. However, there are huddles to overcome. The most common and difficult huddle is communication. Covenant Lovers need to learn to talk about sex. Next week we will look at the Art of Sexual Communication and learn how to create a comfortable dialogue that frees each spouse to openly share their fears and their desires.

Continue To Part 3

by Cristina Broomfield, MA, LLP