Overcoming Infidelity: Couples Therapy After An Affair

couples therapy after affair

Infidelity can put an incredible strain on a relationship. It is one of the most common causes of divorce, affecting thousands of couples throughout the world every year. Approximately 41% of marriages experience infidelity from one or both spouses, and many of them reach their bitter ends as a result of that. Fortunately, there are some techniques you can use to repair your relationship and move forward after an affair. Listed below are some different ways to overcome infidelity so you can rebuild your marriage.

You CAN Make A Relationship Work After An Affair

Before we go on, we need to point out something very important: it is possible to make a relationship work after an affair. Do not assume that your marriage is destroyed because of infidelity. There are many couples in the world who are able to work through their problems, identify the cause of infidelity, and come up with a solution for their relationship. Put yourself in a success-driven mindset, with hope that things can get better. If you set yourself up for victory, you are much more likely to triumph in couples therapy after an affair.

Participate In Professional Couples Therapy

One of the best ways to heal after cheating is to participate in infidelity couples therapy. This process allows you to work with a counselor to pinpoint the reasons for the affair and find ways to avoid a similar occurrence in the future. You can learn how to better communicate with your spouse and what you can do to prevent divorce in your marriage. Getting through life after an affair is going to be hard no matter what, but it can be a lot easier if you have a good person to guide you along the way. Your marriage counselor can be just that.

Find The Cause Of The Affair (And Work Through That Problem)

What caused the affair in the first place? Did you feel unappreciated? Was your spouse unsatisfied with your sex life? Was the stress of day to day life too overwhelming for you both? You cannot overcome infidelity if you do not know what caused it. Talk to your spouse in depth about the reasons he or she cheated, and then work together to eliminate that trigger in the future. This is something your marriage counselor can help you through, but you may want to work on it on your own as well. Maintain a steady flow of communication throughout the process, and you will be able to prevent cheating in your relationship.

Avoid Discussing The Affair With Friends And Family Members

If you truly want to make your relationship work, you need to avoid talking to friends and family members about the affair. These people will inevitably sway your opinion about your spouse and the situation as a whole, even if they seem understanding and nonjudgmental. The only people working on your conflict resolution should be you, your spouse, and your couples therapist. There is no need for other opinions to be thrown into the mix.

Remember that just because you forgive your spouse for cheating, it doesn’t mean that your family will. In fact, they may be even more upset about the matter than you are because they want to protect you. Keeping this information to yourself will save you from judgment in the future if you do stay together, and it will ensure that your spouse is welcomed to family and friend get-togethers.

Be Willing To Work Together

Do not assume that the person who cheated is the only one who has work to do. Both of you have to work together in order to heal and grow. If you are not willing to put in the effort it takes to save your marriage, you will likely find yourself in the same situation later on. Show your partner that you are committed to working things out just like he or she is. There is always room for improvement in a relationship, regardless of the circumstances.

Learn To Forgive Your Spouse And Yourself

No matter which end of the affair you may be on, you need to learn the value of forgiveness. If you were the victim of the affair, you must be able to let go of your aggression and forgive your spouse for what he or she did. This is the first step toward healing and rebuilding trust in your relationship. If you are the person who committed infidelity, you need to forgive yourself for what you’ve done. You still need to hold yourself accountable for your actions, but not to the point that it drives you mad. People make mistakes – then they learn from them. As long as you commit to improving your marriage, you can get through couples therapy after an affair and rekindle the love you once had.