Monthly Archives: August 2015

How To Persuade Someone To Get Counseling: Part 3

Intervention

Continued from Part 2 

What To Say To Convince Someone To See A Counselor

What works for your loved one may not work for someone else, so you will need to adjust your approach to fit your situation specifically. Here are some tips for what to say during your conversation:

  • Speak from your heart. Do not be afraid to share your concern with the person, as long as you let them know that you truly care about their well-being.
  • Use the word “I” instead of “you.” In other words, explain that you are worried about the person, not that the person has something wrong. “I am concerned about…” sounds a lot better than “You need to…”
  • If possible, ask for this as a gift to you or someone the other person cares about. “Going to counseling is the best gift you could give your mother for her birthday.” This will work for some people – not everyone. You will have to use your judgment to determine if your loved one will respond well.
  • Stay calm. You may not get a positive reaction from this process, but you should still use a calm, concerned tone even if the person lashes out in defense.
  • Offer to come along or to get counseling for yourself. If your loved one feels like he or she has a support system, you may have an easier time getting him or her to see a therapist.

What Not To Say To Convince Someone To See A Counselor

There are some tactics and statements that will almost always lead to a negative result. Avoid all of the following situations when you confront someone about seeing a counselor or therapist:

  • Do not use derogatory, accusatory, or condescending terms like “crazy,” “weird,” “abnormal,” or “creepy.”
  • Do not get angry or defensive. You have to expect the person to be upset when you first talk to him. Do your best to control your temper, even if that means taking a verbal bashing for a moment. This will pass when the emotions simmer down.
  • Do not leave the person alone. They need support at this tough time. Let them know you’ll be there every step of the way.

A More Aggressive Approach (When Necessary)

If your loved one is facing a mental or emotional issue that puts himself or someone else at harm, you may need to take more drastic measures to get him to a counselor. For instance, if the person has an anger management issue and is physically abusing you or another family member, you may need to get the authorities involved with the confrontation. Contact local law enforcement about the situation to find out what your rights are as a bystander and what they will be able to do to help you.

Whatever the outcome of the confrontation is, make sure you stand by the person’s side so he knows that he has support. With the right commitment and devotion on your end, your friend or family member can finally get the help he needs.

How To Persuade Someone To Get Counseling: Part 2

therapy and counseling

Continued from Part 1 

Choose The Right Time And Place For Your Approach

Telling someone to get counseling can easily come across as an offensive statement, even if you have good intensions. Thus it is important for you to choose the right time and place for your conversation. If you bring the subject up at an inappropriate time, your friend may turn against you or ignore the suggestion entirely. Simply put, you could be setting yourself up for failure.

The Time

The “right” time to approach someone about speaking to a counselor will vary from person to person. You should choose a moment when you can speak to the person, uninterrupted, for a long stretch of time. For example, if you are trying to speak to your spouse about marriage counseling, you may wait until after the children have gone to bed, or early in the morning before they wake up.

You should also keep in mind the circumstances leading up to your discussion. You do not want to bring up a topic like this shortly after a fight because it will come across in a spiteful way. You may want to avoid a day when the person is feeling particularly depressed, angry, anxious, etc. The wrong time could make an honest approach seem like an attack.

The Place

This is a private matter, so the conversation needs to take place in a private, comfortable location. In most cases, this will either be at your home or at your friend or family member’s home. You may also consider discussing the matter at your place of worship, if the person you’re confronting has a strong belief system.

Keep in mind that this is about making the other person comfortable, not you. Think about his or her needs when approaching this conversation so you end up with the best results.

Set Yourself Up For Success – How To Start The Conversation

Begin your discussion by telling your loved one you need to have an important conversation with them. This will ensure that the person is paying attention to you when you speak, so you don’t have to repeat yourself and your statements are clearly understood. A simple “We need to talk” may not be enough. “I need to discuss something really important with you” would be more effective.

Let your loved one know that you care for them and the struggles they’re going through. Enter the discussion from a place of empathy. Say something similar to “I know life isn’t easy for you right now. I truly care about what you’re going through, and I want to find a way to help.”

Continue to Part 3

How To Persuade Someone To Get Counseling: Part 1

See a counselor

If you have a friend or family member who needs professional counseling and therapy, it may be difficult to convince the person to seek the help they need. A large portion of the patients we work with at Perspectives Of Troy Counseling Centers are referred to us by schools, doctors, or other people concerned about their loved ones. When you see someone important in your life struggling to get through the day, it’s natural to want to help them. You just need to know the right way to approach the situation.

In this guide, we will go over how to convince someone to see a counselor so you can help your loved one get to a happier stage in life.

Find A Counseling Center Ahead Of Time

It helps to be fully prepared before confronting your loved one about getting counseling or therapy. The best place to start is to locate a counseling center near you that your friend will be comfortable in. You may refer to our guide titled Which Therapist Is Right For Me? for detailed tips on choosing a counselor or counseling center to attend, but the main goal is to locate a specialist with extensive experience in the type of therapy your friend needs.

For example, if you want to help your friend get over drug addiction, you will need to find a counseling center with substance abuse counselors and therapists. If you are a parent looking for bullying therapy for your child, you would need to seek out a center that offers child counseling and therapy. Make sure the center is well trusted in your community, and make sure you are fully aware of the charges that may come with the counseling session. As long as you have an exact idea of what your friend can expect from the experience, you can prepare your approach.

Schedule An Appointment With A Counselor

Once you have found a trustworthy counseling center for your loved one, consider scheduling an appointment for yourself. This will give you a chance to speak to a professional about how to approach your loved one, or how you can help that person get through this troubling time. You will not be able to set up an appointment for your friend, but you can reassure him or her that the counseling center is worth visiting because you already have a relationship with them.

Continue to Part 2

Finding The Right Therapist For You

Therapist

“I need to see a therapist.” This simple phrase carries a heavier weight than most people realize. There are a number of different counselors and therapists to choose from, regardless of where you live or what type of help you need. By selecting the right professional to help you through your journey, you will enjoy a pleasant, effective, and life-changing experience in therapy.

In the information below, we will help you answer the question, “Which therapist is right for me?” 

Qualities Of A Good Therapist

A “good” therapist may not necessarily be the “right” therapist for your needs. Nevertheless, it is important for look for respectable qualities in your therapist no matter what your situation is. Here are some surefire signs of a qualified therapist:

  • High Level Of Education (Usually A Master’s Degree Or Doctorate In Psychology, Psychiatry, Or Similar)
  • Long-Term Experience In The Field
  • Strong Recommendations From Local Doctors, Schools, Churches, And Businesses
  • Caring Personality (Someone You Connect With)
  • Local And State Licenses

Assess the credentials of your therapist like you would a doctor, lawyer, plumber, accountant – any service provider you trust with an aspect of your life. This will help you avoid a bad experience with an unqualified therapist.

How To Choose The Right Therapist For Your Needs

Once you have a set of therapists you can trust, you will need to determine which professional is best suited for your individual needs. If you need alcoholism treatment, seek help from someone who works with alcohol and substance abuse victims regularly. At Perspectives Of Troy Counseling Centers, we meticulously match each patient with a counselor or therapist who specializes in the treatment they need.

Types Of Therapists And Counselors

No matter what you are going through in life, there are counselors and therapists available to help you cope with, recover from, and overcome your struggles. Find a professional who specializes in your specific needs, and you will get the best treatment possible.

If Your First Therapist Does Not Work Out…

There are times when the first therapist you get paired with will not necessarily be the right therapist for you. If you do not feel like you have a good connection with your therapist or counselor, speak to your counseling center about working with someone else. Make sure explain what you have a problem with so the center can match you with a better fit from the start. Do not be afraid to say “I would prefer speaking to a woman” or “I would like a counselor closer to my age” if it would lead to a better experience for you overall.

Once you find the right therapist for your needs, you will be able to enjoy a better quality of life.

Why Is My Child Getting Bad Grades? Part 3

poor grades

Continued from Part 2 

Anxiety And Depression (Continued)

What You Can Do About It

Your child’s anxiety treatment may consist of professional counseling, medications, or a combination of the two. Some forms of depression and anxiety can be conquered by identifying the root problem and taking care of that instead. Your child may need to complete child counseling to be able to lead a healthier and happier life. Feel free to contact Perspectives Of Troy Counseling Centers to learn more about our anxiety and depression counseling and therapy.

Note that anxiety and depression symptoms may be signs of other mental or emotional issues your child is facing. It may be wise to set up a professional psychological evaluation to gain better insight on your child’s specific needs.

A Lack Of Discipline

Children need discipline to understand how society works and where they fit into the equation. As a parent or guardian, it is your job to show your child the right way to behave and function as they get older. If your child is disorganized, inattentive, disrespectful, or apathetic about school and life in general, a strong foundation of discipline may put him back on the right course.

The Difference Between Discipline And Punishment

It is important to note that discipline does not mean the same thing as punishment. Discipline teaches your children right from wrong, good from bad, etc. before an event happens. Punishment occurs after your child has done something wrong.
While you may use punishment as part of your disciplinary strategy, you need to focus more on educating your child, rather than punishing him afterward.

Discipline is preventative. Punishment is retroactive. 

What You Can Do About It

If you do not have rules or structure in your home, now may be a good time to establish them. This could involve a number of different steps on your end: creating a chore chart, writing down specific rules for the house, outlining consequences for breaking house rules, etc. Your child may not like the new rules at first, but eventually he will appreciate the organization and discipline. This will ultimately translate to better grades in school as he begins to apply the lessons you teach at home to his academic life.

Final Takeaway

No matter what the cause may be for your child’s bad grades, do what you can to support him and identify the root of the problem. Punishment is going to be ineffective if there is a bigger issue going on than laziness or apathy. If you need advice or you want to set up a counseling session for you and your child, reach out to the counselors and therapists at Perspectives Of Troy Counseling Centers. We are here to help every step of the way.

Why Is My Child Getting Bad Grades? Part 2

bad school grades

Continued from Part 1

Attention Deficit Disorders (ADD Or ADHD)

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) affect a wide range of children in the United States. Approximately 11% of children between the ages of 4 and 17 have been diagnosed with ADHD, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control. These numbers do not include children who go undiagnosed because their symptoms are neglected or misinterpreted.

ADD and ADHD can both lead to bad grades in school because children are unable to focus on their lessons and assignments. There are different types of attention deficit disorders that a child may be diagnosed with, as well as different levels of severity.

Signs of ADHD

  • Child Becomes Easily Distracted
  • Poor Listening Skills
  • Restlessness Or Overactivity
  • Disorganization
  • Incomplete Work
  • Impulsive Actions
  • Easily Frustrated
  • Short Attention Span
  • Fidgeting, Squirming, Or Difficulty Sitting Still
  • Symptoms Of Depression And Anxiety

What You Can Do About It

Your child will need to complete psychological testing to determine if he does in fact have ADHD. This process usually involves an interview or consultation with the child, where a professional psychologist assesses the state of his mental health. If ADHD is the underlying issue, the counseling center can recommend different treatment options available to your child.

The type of ADHD treatment your child receives will depend on the type of disorder he has and the treatment options in your state (see this post for more information). At Perspectives Of Troy Counseling Centers in Michigan, we believe that every child has a unique set of needs that must be addressed in ADHD treatment. We will create a custom treatment plan for your child designed to help him overcome his condition and do better in school.

Anxiety And Depression

Children may not have the same day to day responsibilities as adults do, but that does not mean they cannot feel anxious or depressed about their current life. This may be the result of specific situations, like bullying or peer pressure, or it may come from a more general interpretation of life. Whatever the case may be, your child’s mental health can have a significant impact on his academic performance, and his anxiety may go unnoticed for quite some time before you seek proper treatment.

Signs Of Anxiety And Depression In Children

  • Low Self-Esteem (Self-Loathing)
  • Unprovoked Anger Or Irritability
  • Expressing Thoughts Of Death Or Suicide
  • Self-Seclusion (Staying Away From Friends Or Family Members)
  • Difficulty Sleeping
  • Strong Emotional Expressions About Specific Activities (Crying About Going To School, Throwing A Tantrum About A Recital – Or Other Uncharacteristic Behaviors)
  • Mood Swings
  • Changes In Eating Habits
  • Poor Academic Performance

Continue to Part 3

Why Is My Child Getting Bad Grades? Part 1

bad grades

All parents want their children to succeed in school. When a problem arises, most parents automatically start questioning, “Why is my child getting bad grades?” This may be a result of laziness or improper teaching, but it could also be the result of a mental or emotional struggle that the child is trying to deal with. If you are worried about your son or daughter’s academic performance, you may want to look for hidden causes that may be lurking under the surface.

Here are some common reasons why children get bad grades in school and what you can do to correct them.

Stress At Home Or At School

Stress impacts different people in different ways. Some use it as motivation to succeed, and others fall victim to the pressure. This applies to children just as much as it does adults. If your child is overwhelmed by stress at school or at home, he may not be able to focus on homework, tests, and lessons from day to day. Your child may be vocal about his stress, or he may be too embarrassed to discuss it with you. You’ll need to watch for signs of uncharacteristic behavior, such as lower grades, to identify when your child is experiencing stress.

Causes Of Stress

Children may face stress for a number of reasons, including:

  • Bullying
  • Fighting At Home (Between Parents Or Other Family Members)
  • Residual Stress From Parents
  • Difficulty Making Friends
  • Peer Pressure
  • Low Self-Esteem Or Poor Body Image
  • Excessive Responsibilities At Home Or School
  • A Lack Of Support (Neglected Family Time, Limited Friends, Etc.)

What You Can Do About It

Obviously the goal here is to relieve the stress that your child is facing. How you go about that will depend on the cause of the stress in the first place. If your child’s stress is a result of issues at home, you will have more control over the situation than you would when the child is at school. For instance, if you and your spouse have been fighting recently, you may seek marriage and family counseling to resolve your issues and reduce the conflict in your home.

If your child is stressed about making friends, you may consider getting him involved in a new activity away from school. Join a local sports team or get him involved with your church youth group. Find an activity that truly makes your child happy, and let him use that time to relieve his stress.

Continue to Part 2